1
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,440
{\an8}Well, it's all kicking off.

2
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,040
Some of the townswomen
are demanding chore remuneration

3
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,320
for all the hours logged
in their ledgers,

4
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,400
while others are calling for
a hoover amnesty.

5
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,760
Question is, will Linda step up

6
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,840
and be the leader
that the women need?

7
00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,280
Back after this.

8
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,360
Thank you.

9
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,720
The Verderer has really got
his tits in a tangle this time.

10
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,400
Oh, come on!

11
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,400
How do they even get my number?

12
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,160
Give up the fags, Siobhain.

13
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,760
Oh, it's not the fags,
it's the menopause.

14
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,920
Coughing is not a symptom
of the menopause.

15
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,920
Isn't it?

16
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,280
I thought everything was a
symptom of the menopause
these days.

17
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,360
Don't start.

18
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,800
Why are you here, Siobhan?

19
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,120
I'm taking some time
for myself.

20
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,000
Well, who's looking after
Martin's mum?

21
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,520
Martin.

22
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,400
You've dropped Irene off
at Martin and Binky's?

23
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,240
Well, I'll tell you something.

24
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,720
Martin won't be looking after
her, and neither will Binky.

25
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,680
She's pregnant.

26
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,520
She's 86!

27
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,800
Not Martin's mum, you idiot.

28
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,240
Oh.

29
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,760
But you didn't have kids
'cos Martin didn't want them.

30
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,840
I know.

31
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,720
And now it's too late for you.

32
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,200
- I know.
- Decades too late.

33
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,280
Not decades.

34
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,080
I'm sorry.

35
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,320
Well, you can stay here until
you get your head sorted out.

36
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,400
All right?

37
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,160
Cuppa?

38
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,360
Oh, that's not cider
in that jug.

39
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,760
One week,
and then I want you gone!

40
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,320
♪ I wanna know ♪

41
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,200
♪ Have you ever seen the rain? ♪

42
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,640
♪ I wanna know ♪

43
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,920
♪ Have you ever seen the rain? ♪

44
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,920
Late again, are we?

45
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,680
- What?
- What?

46
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,640
Have you always had plaits?

47
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,480
Have you always had
an abnormal gait?

48
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,360
Oh, why does everyone keep
going on about this?

49
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,480
People have different walks.

50
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,800
What are you on about?

51
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,360
Well, my friend bounces
when she walks.

52
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,600
Huh?

53
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,680
You know, like that.

54
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,320
Like that.

55
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,960
Yeah.

56
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,760
Oh!

57
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,040
I really think you should
stop eating endangered species.

58
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,800
It's like serving
panda and mash.

59
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,200
I-I really think you should
consider making vegan eels.

60
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,960
No. We will serve vegan eels
over our dead bodies, Linda.

61
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,040
Ew.

62
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,360
I think you should hear her out,
Threse.

63
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,800
Well, you know,
numbers are seriously down.

64
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,000
My bucket is all but dried up.

65
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,720
Vegan mushroom eels.

66
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,000
It makes perfect sense.

67
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,520
The forest is full of mushrooms.

68
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,440
The men wouldn't even notice.

69
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,320
Leave it all to me. Okay?

70
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,080
I've got my mushroom guidebook.

71
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,600
I've got my mushroom recipe.

72
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,720
What could possibly go wrong?

73
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,440
All right, one batch.

74
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,280
I'm surprised you even got time,

75
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,920
what with all the riling up of
the womenfolk you've been doing.

76
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000
I'm not riling them up.

77
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,560
Oh! Is my number posted up
all over town or something?

78
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,040
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we put it there.

79
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,520
You can do your
home-wrecking housework hotline

80
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,280
in your own time, all right,
not ours.

81
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:21,920
Yeah.

82
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,640
And my guys up there,
they will tell me

83
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,760
if you so much as look
at your phone, Linda.

84
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,760
Do you hear me?

85
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,960
Yeah, I-I literally
just told her that, mate!

86
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,480
Not a bad idea, Linda.

87
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,360
♪ I wanna know.

88
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,640
♪ Have you ever seen the rain?

89
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,960
I'm like,
"Will I ever walk again?"

90
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,120
"Perhaps it'll settle."

91
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,640
It didn't!
It's still settling.

92
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,160
Got mumps for the rest
of my life.

93
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,680
Well, there's no scarring.

94
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,480
All right, Tone?

95
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,360
- It's a bleedin' disgrace,
Linda.
- What is?

96
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,480
Well, the bloomin' PC brigade

97
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,560
coming down hard on
Julie's pantry's Cornish
pasties,

98
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,880
Huh? Pasty Nazis.
As simple as that.

99
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,600
I mean, you can't even say
Cornish pasty these days
without getting cancelled.

100
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,680
Well, you can.
Can you name me one person

101
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,120
who said something
politically incorrect

102
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,680
and then was
never heard of again?

103
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:47,760
- Yes.
- Oh?

104
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,200
Bald guy, former kickboxer.

105
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,080
Looks like a cross
between Vin Diesel

106
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,640
- and the head of security
at a Las Vegas casino?
- Mm-hm.

107
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,600
I know who you mean,
but I can't think of his name.

108
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,320
Very popular with boys
between 8 and 14.

109
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,640
He's got a perfume out now.
Anyone else?

110
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,000
Yes.

111
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,760
The tall bloke
from the acting dynasty.

112
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,640
Heh!
He's always getting cancelled.

113
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,960
Looks like Where's Wally?
if he shopped in Next?

114
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,000
I know who you mean,
but I can't think of his name.

115
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,560
Failed actor. Failed musician.
Failed politician.

116
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,600
Over half a million
X formerly Twitter followers.

117
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,880
More popular than ever.
Anyone else?

118
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,240
Yes, Professor Lobster.

119
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,560
Only eats meat and salt.

120
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,560
Looks like
a sad Christopher Lee.

121
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,240
I know who you mean,
but I can't think of his name.

122
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,320
Very popular with boys
between 14 and 35

123
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,560
who are very impressed
by long words.

124
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,080
Multimillionaire,
appears on everything.

125
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,680
I just need one, Tone.

126
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,320
I can't think of one off the top
of my head, actually.

127
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,840
Okay. Yeah.

128
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,960
So do you think Julie
is going to get cancelled

129
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,200
for saying Cornish pasty, Tone?

130
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,040
No, I don't think so.

131
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,800
No. Well, I'm glad
we got that one sorted out.

132
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:10,800
Yeah, me too.

133
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,160
Ho-ho!

134
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,160
Ah! Woman with a bit of spunk
that can limbo.

135
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,880
That is just my type.

136
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,520
Don't even think about it, Tone.

137
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:20,040
Aah!
Oh, my God, Siobhain!

138
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,680
Tony?!

139
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,720
Oh, get what you can while you
can still bend your knees, Lin.

140
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,560
Ugh!

141
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,720
In my bed. Next to me.
While I'm asleep.

142
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,880
One week, Siobhain.

143
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,520
It's grounding, isn't it?

144
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,600
Mm.

145
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,080
You know,
I connect to the soil every day.

146
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,040
Sometimes I stand.
Sometimes I lay down.

147
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,120
Sometimes I dance.

148
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,560
Soil doesn't just filter toxins.
It, um--

149
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,960
can absorb your grief as well.

150
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,880
Mm. Yeah.

151
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,880
I feel--
I feel calmer already.

152
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,440
Good.

153
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,880
Don't be stressing
about the women's strike.

154
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,040
Oh, it's all the texts.

155
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,200
Th-they shouldn't be telling
me this intimate stuff.

156
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,480
You've no idea
what people get up to.

157
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,280
Pig Man: Mm.

158
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,360
Seriously, though, I--

159
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,640
I think you'd make
a great leader.

160
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,240
No. Why?

161
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,280
Because you're braver
than you believe,

162
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:28,040
you're stronger than you seem,
you're smarter than you think.

163
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,760
Is that Winnie the Pooh?

164
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,360
No.

165
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,360
Oh, I listened to
the mushrooms like you said.

166
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,880
Really?
What did they say?

167
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,640
They said, "Tell Pig Man
to stop eavesdropping

168
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,400
on our private conversations."

169
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,880
Oh, and I found this.

170
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,080
- Isn't that--
- Yeah. Eel sisters as children.

171
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,840
Wow.

172
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,880
Don't know what it is yet,

173
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,960
but there's a missing link
here somewhere.

174
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,840
You know what?

175
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,840
Fuck off, the lot of you.

176
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,520
You're just jealous.

177
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,560
'Cos you look old
and shit.

178
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,760
Coming to you raw, unfiltered,

179
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,960
and white like milk,
it's the Verderer!

180
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,480
Good morning, good morning,
good morning.

181
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:20,240
I had planned on discussing
Jimmy Savile today,

182
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:25,240
but my attention has been
turned to a far greater
threat to society.

183
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:29,760
Women.
Angry, foul-mouthed, old women.

184
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,320
Ooh!
Thought me ears were burning.

185
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,520
It's very sweet of you to
try and get my attention
this way, Verderer.

186
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,000
Very old-school.

187
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,040
But I'm just not interested,
I'm afraid.

188
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,680
You think you're a MILF,

189
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,760
but you're just
bitter, old, and barren.

190
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,360
Are you on air?

191
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,880
Linda fancies herself
as a bit of a feminist messiah,

192
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,720
liberating the oppressed women
from the shackles
of domesticity.

193
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,360
But let me tell you,
she is no such thing.

194
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,080
She is a fake, a charlatan,
a homewrecker.

195
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,120
She just wants the women of this
town to be as unhappy as she is.

196
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,280
The women came to me,
Verderer, okay,

197
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,400
because my ledger resonated
with them.

198
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,320
And it's not my fault
if their husbands aren't
pulling their weight.

199
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,040
I wish I didn't know the things
that they told me,

200
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,800
but I do know,
and to be honest with you,

201
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,840
I think they should
be getting paid for them.

202
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,800
There is not a fetish club
in this country

203
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,880
that would tolerate
half the things they have to do.

204
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,640
Yeah? Oh!

205
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,400
But they were happy before!

206
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,840
In the garden, hanging out
the washing with the snake.

207
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,960
And then you come along,
Linda Jenkins--

208
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,600
or should I say Eve
with her poisoned apple--

209
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,000
or should I say poisoned ledger?

210
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,960
And now they're ashamed.
Of themselves.

211
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,320
Of their roles.
Of their-- aprons.

212
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,240
They're not ashamed.
They're happy and liberated.

213
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,080
Men and women were never equal.
Eve was made for Adam.

214
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,560
Yes, so that he had someone
to gaslight and mansplain to

215
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,480
and to laugh at his shit jokes.

216
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,960
It's biology, Linda!
Men and women's
brains are different!

217
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,480
The brain isn't gendered.

218
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,120
It's an organ,
like the kidney or an appendix.

219
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,800
Men's brains are bigger.

220
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,280
Not necessarily better.

221
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,880
Especially if all the
extra space

222
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,640
is just taken up
with pointless trivia

223
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:11,680
like which 1980s single
topped the charts the longest.

224
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,000
"Two Tribes."
Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

225
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,760
Nine weeks.

226
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,120
It is a fact women are
biologically predisposed

227
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,960
to care and to nurture,

228
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:24,080
whereas men are predisposed
to explore, to take risks,

229
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:28,640
to destroy and rebuild,
to learn, to think.

230
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,400
I mean, men invented everything!

231
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,400
Do you think
we'd have electricity now

232
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,760
if Thomas Edison had to do
his fair share of the dusting?

233
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,000
Yes, well, Thomas Edison's wife
probably invented it

234
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,640
and he took all the credit.

235
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,760
Lose these traditional roles
now, and who are we?

236
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,880
What are we?

237
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,520
When are we?

238
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,800
Let me ask it.

239
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,960
What kind of middle-aged woman

240
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,880
plays pool in a pub
on a Monday morning,

241
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,200
smacking balls about while men
are trying to write and think?

242
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,840
I mean, it might be
pool balls today, gentlemen,

243
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,200
but it'll be our balls tomorrow.

244
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,520
Nice.

245
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,320
As Fayther Watkins'
unofficial heir,

246
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,520
I will see to it that his
traditional values are upheld.

247
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,480
I will restore order
in this town.

248
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,600
Linda Jenkins' feminist agenda

249
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,800
has nothing to do
with equal rights for women.

250
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,240
It's all about pushing
an anti-family movement

251
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,920
that encourages women
to leave their husbands,

252
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,640
abandon their children,
practice witchcraft,

253
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,360
destroy the patriarchy,
and become lezzers!

254
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,000
Sounds brilliant.
Where do I sign up?

255
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,240
You've made an enemy of me,
Linda Jane Jenkins.

256
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,320
Prepare for battle.

257
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,360
Oh!

258
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,960
You're scared of a chair.
I think I'll be all right.

259
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,280
I'm scared of no chair.

260
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,360
Um, will it hurt?

261
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,000
Hurt is an essential
human experience.

262
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,320
To hurt is to feel.

263
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:29,560
If one cannot feel,
one is not truly alive.

264
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,160
Yes.
But will it hurt?

265
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,440
I forgot.
This came for you earlier.

266
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,920
It doesn't smell like your
weekly Stinking Bishop delivery.

267
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,960
To fear change is to fear life.

268
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,400
Life is always changing.

269
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,200
As are we.

270
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,800
"Hope it fits.
Let battle commence. The lads."

271
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000
Fayther's codpiece.

272
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:17,360
{\an8}♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing ♪

273
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,560
{\an8}♪ She smiled and replied ♪

274
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,280
{\an8}♪ "You don't know
what you're missing" ♪

275
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:34,480
{\an8}♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
I wish I could wed you ♪

276
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:40,200
{\an8}♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
I wish I could bed you ♪